Rubber Urinal

Story originally published in Plan K #15

My greatest pleasure is to get dressed in my rubber jeans, rubber motorcyle jacket and waders, and drink a lot of beer with a mate who, when his bladder is full, will empty the contents and relieve himself through the piss slit in my rubber. Nothing is as satisfying as feeling the warm piss drain itself into my waders, so that my feet sop about in it.

The noise to, of sucking and blurping is really disgusting. But of course, I am not selfish, I don’t keep this pleasure only for myself, and have learned to take and give… I always return the gift with gratitude. But the best time I’ve had is when we mutually piss and we take each others’ tongues together. Then the piss and cum slide inside our rubber until we are two slimey wet guys in unison.

However, lately I have begun to think of an extension of this pleasure, so that I could be almost entirely immersed in urine from more than one mate. I decided that my greatest ambition was to become a complete rubber urinal, so that I could have the privilege of my other guys’ piss, and be of full service to others !

Also, I planned to advertise this service for parties and (hopefully) orgies; maybe be even rock gigs, beer festivals like Oktoberfest in Munich. This would provide a valuable convenience for all sorts of guys who urgently need to relieve themselves, but who did no want a long walk to the urinals or queue. I planned to design a suit, which had a full aluminium or thick rubber through surrounding it. This could be press studded to the suit itself at two heights. On of these would be a waist level, the other at the height of the shoulders.

This would ensure that I could be a receptacle for piss up to my neck. I would then be able to open a safety valve at my neck, so letting the overflow “waterfall” outside my rubber. Then I could close it and wait for a refill. This way I knew I could be of service to fifty guys or more in an evening. I hoped for many more, but one must be reasonable. My dream would be over a hundred or more, all night !

Fortunately, I knew of a couple of Rubber Specialists in London, who were as thrilled as I was by the challenge. It would, of course, be expensive and needed careful thinking out and designing. I didn’t want any of the precious liquid to leek out, so that a series of simple rubber and plastic valves was organised. This meant that when the liquid had reached the level of the first trough around my waist, this could be unstudded and the entry hole blocked up.

The two holes, which corresponded to the trough holes, plugged up with a screw bung. The trough could the be moved higher up in line with my shoulders, which would allow me the pleasure of also licking some of it up or drinking direct, if I wanted to. I would wear a full rubber mask, naturally, with the word “URINAL” carefully printed on my forehead. I won’t go into any more complications, except to say that it was more difficult than I at first imagined, because the suit needed to be re-inforced at the trough heights by thicker rubber bards….

When we first tried this, the piss trough became so heavy it threatened to tear off. However after a few weeks of testing I have finally perfected the design. I have just inserted an invitation (in a gay trade paper) to take advantage of my unique invention which reads: “Piss toilet service for bars and parties, etc. Men only. Let me be your urinal. No plumbing or waste pipers necessary. Easy to install. Fully rubberised Toilet Service available. Full bladders a necessity. Payment in beer only !”

(After all, I feel justified that I should be completely uninhibited to join in the fun during the evening and piss myself. “I look forward to your invitation”.)

P. S. If any other guys need further directions regarding the making of this suit I would be happy to oblige. Of course, I will expect to be paid in kind.

Biker Pete